JO ROSENTHAL: Growing up, was there a particular moment that made you fall in love with ballet?

ISABELLA BOYLSTON: Maybe it’s corny to say, but I very much felt called to dance. It never really felt like an active choice; it was more like I knew dance would always be a part of my life, and I’d always find a way to do it no matter what. Some of my favorite memories are from when I was around 10 or 11, taking ballet classes above a tavern with sunlight streaming in through big, old windows. We always had live piano accompaniment, which is rare for a small studio. My teacher would bring a bag of silk scarves, and for the last 10 minutes of class, we’d each select a scarf and the pianist would improvise, and we students would improvise to the music, just dancing, creating, and expressing ourselves, in our own little world. As I got older and churned through the brutal grinder of more professional training, I feel like I lost some of this innocent joy of dance. That freedom was replaced by self-doubt and the pressure to conform to questionable constructs of ballerina-dom and femininity. Part of my journey as an adult artist has been rediscovering the purest, most joyful aspects of dance that came so naturally to me as a kid, while continuing to explore the rigor and tradition of classical ballet. 

JR: You grew up in Sun Valley, Idaho, surrounded by an ​‘outdoorsy.’ free-spirited family and frequent mountain trips. How did that environment influence your relationship to ballet?

IB: I definitely grew up in a household where creativity was nurtured. My dad was a professional drummer, and I’d crawl around on the floor of the bar where he played the night before while he packed up his drum kit. My parents were also very busy, so I had plenty of time to be bored and use my imagination. I think few things stoke the imagination as powerfully as being out in nature. I also think my dancing benefited from a naturally athletic quality, from being active outdoors all the time as a kid.

JR: In a world full of expectations around timing — when to have children, when to stop, what’s appropriate- how do you personally find courage to trust your own instincts and forge your own path?

IB: It was a long journey of going back and forth to get here. I was so career-focused for so long, and I wavered about whether I wanted to have children. I think life can be equally fulfilling with or without kids, and it’s unhinged how much pressure society puts on women around motherhood. What finally made me decide was how much I love my family and spending time with them, and that I’d love to have even more of them — and also having a true partner in Dan, my husband, which makes the idea of having a kid while dancing feel more realistic. I did have a lot of fears of being perceived differently as a ballerina after having a kid. But I’m embracing the idea that no one can put me in a box unless I let them. Ballerinas are multifaceted people, not just dancing robots, and I want to share that with my audience. 

JR: Nowadays in ballet class, has anything surprised you by feeling easier than you expected?

IB: Honestly, I have been surprised by how natural it has felt to keep dancing. Dancing ironically felt worse in the first trimester because I felt so exhausted and terrible. After around 18 weeks, it started feeling great again. I love taking class and having classical music wash over my belly. Also, your ligaments loosen during pregnancy, so side extensions definitely got easier. And weirdly, pirouettes en dedans. The weight of my belly pulls me forward into a better position for them. Jumping now feels crazy and uncomfortable, like you’re running uphill in a weighted vest. 

JR: You’ve spoken about having complete control over your body as a ballet dancer. How has pregnancy shifted your relationship with control?

IB: I think I’m still a control freak, unfortunately. But I’m hoping that when I come back to dancing, being a new mom will broaden my perspective and give me greater focus on what truly matters. 

JR: Do you think the ballet world is evolving in how it supports dancers through motherhood?

IB: Yes, I think so. Everyone at ABT has been so supportive. I’m lucky to have this experience, because I know not everyone in the ballet world does. It’s interesting how often very well-meaning people outside the ballet world ask me if I plan to go back to dancing after having a baby. It’s a legitimate question, but it’s also a bit of an eye-roll for me, because at the same time no one is asking my male colleagues or dads in general that question. 

JR: Misty Copeland and Gillian Murphy, both iconic dancers and mothers, have been part of your support system through this. What’s something they’ve shared with you that’s really stayed with you?

IB: I remember when I was trying to decide if/​when to have a kid, Gillian told me, ​“Being a mom is the best thing ever, but you have to really, really want it. Because it’s really full on.” And that was so wise, because I think the worst thing you can do is make the decision based on external pressure. And Misty would definitely help me to let go of some of my anxieties, being like, you need to relax and enjoy this time of being pregnant; the more relaxed, the better. 

JR: You’ve mentioned that you’ve seen how motherhood seems to open something new in other dancers on stage. Do you feel yourself standing at the edge of that same shift, or still in the unknown?

IB: I feel like I’ve already shifted in a sense. I have found that I have zero FOMO about not being onstage right now, and that surprised me. I feel extremely excited about getting back to dancing in the near future, but for now I feel so at peace where I am. I also feel like I’ve derived a special power from my pregnancy. I’ll think about my baby inside my belly and feel extra grounded and strong, like I can channel a new strength from that. 

People talk a lot about how their identity shifts when they become mothers, and that concept still feels somewhat incomprehensible to me. You may have to experience it to understand it fully. I still want to find a way to feel fully like myself as a mom.